Love Is A Marathon

 

I attended a wedding last night for the first time in a while.  Most of the weddings I've been to in my life were either as a single woman or a newly wed, this was the first one I've been to since I've actually been married a while (7 years, thanks!).   It was different watching the bride and groom this time, different listening to how they said their vows.  So many lovey smiles and lofty promises made with clear, confident voices. Promises to love completely, to support, to endure, as though any other option were entirely unthinkable.

Sometimes we treat love like a sprint.  We spring forward from the starting line of our vows, full of energy and enthusiasm and hopeful cheers from the crowd.  We are sure our energy and the power we feel in our legs and hearts will push us on unhindered in this journey of marriage. But love is more like a marathon.  It is a long journey, and if you set out unprepared you may find yourself collapsed and gasping for air on the sidelines.  There are times you'll feel invigorated with the breeze on your face, a stunning view all around, and a gentle downward slope to your path. At other times you'll find yourself in the middle of a long hill in suffocating heat wondering how you'll ever go on.

In marriage, as in many other things in life, passion and excitement get us started, but without patience and without endurance, we will all too soon quit.  Maybe we'll just sit out on the sidelines, or maybe we'll find ourselves another race to join that seems more exciting and less difficult.

We all crave love. We've all sighed at the movies or the novels or the stories from our friends.  We all want to be loved relentlessly, unconditionally, because of our strengths and despite our weaknesses.  When we see that kind of love in fiction or reality, it strikes a deep chord.  But what about us ourselves? Do we love relentless and unconditionally? Do we love for strengths and despite weaknesses?  We all want perfect love to swallow our own imperfections, yet no one is perfect.  I always amaze myself at how I can subconsciously hold my own husband to a standard of perfection and be surprised when he isn't but at the same time be so completely understanding of my own faults and expect him to be too.

Patience and endurance. And can I add humility? Humility can admit fault and see someone else's position and be less extreme with it's expectations. Humility can apologize and restore, where pride stiffens and damages.

Love is a marathon.  Sometimes people's marriages will have years of hardship, but they come out on the other side stronger and with a richer love story. Others hit hard months and throw in the towel and search for another love story.  I know this is a bit of a rambling post.  I would just like to encourage all you people out there who are married or starting the journey of marriage, to prepare yourself for a long race.  To see the hard times you might face as hills to overcome, not as reasons to give up. The history of two people holding together, literally for better or worse and in good times and bad, is a beautiful story indeed.