The Divine Umbrella

 

Way back in the days of nursing school, even before my feet touched the clinical soil, I've been praying different versions of the same prayer, "Oh God, please don't let me screw anything up or hurt anybody! Don't let me get anything I can't handle."  My first year of nursing I probably prayed that prayer a hundred times a day, and maybe a few times during the nervous sleeplessness of pre-workday nights.

As the years have gone on, my confidence as a nurse has increased and my anxiety has markedly decreased, but still I pray.  And I've come to believe strongly in God's gracious, divine umbrella.

My first year as a little medical telemetry nurse (heart stuff and what not) was a steep learning curve.  Not to criticize the education I received at world renowned New Mexico State (yes, that's in America), but I was not prepared to hit the floors of that hospital.   No experience, few critical thinking skills, and tunnel vision like a rat.  And I noticed something that year - often times during the shifts I worked there would be patients who would suddenly deteriorate, cardiac arrests, and critical transfers - but they were never my patients. And I mean never.  And they didn't assign patients by acuity levels - it was all numeric. You get rooms 1-7, that sort of thing.

The umbrella continued during my first few years of emergency nursing.  I had busy, stressful days and sick patients, but I never got slammed with the difficult, crazy cases that I saw other people get.  And I knew that God was protecting me (and my patients). A fact that I found comforting and also a little sad, because I knew it was because I couldn't handle it.  As I slowly stepped into the charge nurse roll, I noticed the same thing.  The sky could be falling the day before and the day after, but on my shift, it was much easier going.  And I knew.  God was shielding me (and the people around me) from what I wasn't ready for.

I've noticed the last year or two that the umbrella has been lifting.  I'm dealing with cases and situations that I would have crumbled under at one time.  I am encouraged to realize that I'm growing up into my role.  It may have taken me a while, but I'm getting there.  And through it I've been able to have another glimpse of God's faithfulness.  Faithfulness to keep me from getting too much too soon, and faithfulness to help me improve.  But I will never stop praying on my drive to work - because thankfully Someone is listening.

Gordon Ramsey and the Gospel

Confession time.  I LOVE total transformation shows. Love them.  I love seeing a total disaster renewed into something awesome in one hour increments.  Whether it be a house, a person, a fashion sense, a restaurant or a hotel, it matters not, I will watch until the after is revealed. I think there is just something in these stories of redemption that resonate with us.  Last night my husband and I were watching 'Hotel Hell', which is apparently the next great thing from Gordon Ramsey, famed British critique and hot head.  And I realized something quite surprising.

Gordon Ramsey might just understand the elements of the gospel better than many present day pastors.

I've noticed a theme on these Gordon Ramsey shows.  When he first comes in he is brutal.  He knows that if the people he is working with don't fully recognize the true nature and extent of their problem, they will never do better.  And the people initially are resistant, offended, and often very angry. They start saying things like "who the beep are you to come into my restaurant/hotel, and tell me how to run it??' 'You think you're so great because you have some big fancy restaurant'.  They refer to him in their interviews with words like "hate" and "detest" and "a-hole".  Never mind the fact that most of them are near bankruptcy and asked for him to come.

Finally, the conflict comes to a head, and the owner is put into a place where they can no longer hide from the painful facts of their failures.  They are sad and devastated.  But they are also humbled. They suddenly start listening to Gordon's advice and seeing the wisdom in his suggestions. Gordon's persona softens and he becomes kind and encouraging. Then they get the free gift of a made over establishment and a new menu, along with extra training.  And for many of them it marks a new beginning, one in which they go from failure to success, despair to joy.

According to the gospel, each and every one of us is our own little kitchen nightmare.  Maybe we know we aren't doing so hot and wouldn't mind some help. But what we really want is someone to come tell us we are doing the best we can with what we have, that we aren't really that bad, and then to give us some helpful tips and maybe a couple of steps to help us become better.  But the gospel comes in and tells us exactly what we don't want to hear. It tells us we are not okay, it points out our sin and our failure.  If you've ever read Jesus' so called Sermon on the Mount it's like a scathing Gordon Ramsey lecture minus the British accent and curse words.  And Jesus offended a lot of people.

But if after that you come face to face with who you really are, with your sin and failure, accepting it for what it really is and no longer justifying or minimizing it but instead are grieved and humbled by it, an amazing thing happens.  The gospel softens.  Suddenly it is encouraging and kind.  And then comes the free gift of grace.  That forgiveness and salvation of our souls.  Giving our hearts a beautiful new look and a brand new beginning.

So, Gordon, I'm sure you didn't mean to - but thanks for reminding me of the greatest Story of transformation and redemption - the One to which all the others can only allude - even if unintentionally.