Worthy

What would it feel like to live life without feeling the need to prove your significance? Because don't we all feel it? That nagging need to feel important, to have our value affirmed by the people around us... Isn't that where comparison and jealousy and pride come from?  If my value is based on my appearance or my abilities and there is someone nearby that surpasses me or that I feel I surpass, they become a measuring stick of my realitive worth.Without even realizing it, so much of what we do is at some deep level motivated by our need to feel like we matter. We all chase it in different ways. Maybe if we are beautiful we feel valuable, maybe wealth or status make us feel important, maybe our work, maybe romance, maybe our art, maybe our causes, maybe even crime.

I'll be honest here. The primary way I've chased significance in my own life is altruism and religion. If I can do a lot of good, maybe that means I matter. If I give away my money, if I volunteer with the homeless, if I take care of the sick and help save peoples lives, if I volunteer at church, etc etc.... Maybe just maybe I matter.

But what if.  What if instead of pursuing significance through who we are and what we do- what if discovering the actuality of our value instead released us to be who we are and do what we love without comparison, without jealousy, without pride. Doesn't that sound like freedom? I don't have to become worthwhile, I am worthwhile and in that knowledge I can run unfettered.

Now this is where worldview matters. Because whether or not I am intrinsically valuable is dependent on my origin. If I am a product of chance and nature alone, my value comes from being valued by other people or by what I have to offer. Gold is only "valuable" because we value it, because we have a use for it or because we want it. It can't really be different for people. If there is no Intention behind the universe, than I have no choice but to pursue my worth through my relationships, looks, or talents. I will never be free, and if any of these fail me- if my husband leaves, or my friends get worn out, if my body gets crippled and I can no longer contribute, than my relative worth will be pulled out from under me like a rug.

Love, I believe, is the ultimate conveyer of significance. Nothing makes us feel like we matter more than having someone who's opinion we value love us completely.  If there is a God, which I'm convinced there is, and if that God loves you- than you are completely and intrinsically valuable. If the ultimate Opinion has deemed me worthwhile no matter what, then I am. And instead of chasing this allusive sense of meaning and importance, I can rest. I can rest in my set identity. And instead of chasing people's opinions and affirmations or even my own, that unchanging and steadfast love can set me free to serve out of love alone and not just a quest for importance. I can live a meaningful life not to earn significance but because I am significant. And this is the beauty of the Christian story.  Here there is no place for pride and no place for low self esteem, and if you really believe it, it will change your life. The Truth of God's steadfast love for you will set you free.