Everyone Hates Needles

I think the one phrase I have probably heard almost every day of my nursing career is: "Just so you know...I really hate needles." Male, female, red, yellow, black or white, they all get that same expression. The one with poorly masked anxiety and just a little hint of hostility. Something there in the base of our instinctive nature has a hard time not feeling a smite bit hostile towards the person walking toward us with a sharp, pointy object that they intend to jab into your flesh.

IVs are definitely anxiety producing for patients, but little known to the common world is that they can be anxiety producing for the nurses too.  Every part of your interactions with your patient can approach flawless, but if you don't get that IV on the number one try and do it with a minimal amount of pain, you will probably be branded a semi sub par nurse in your patient's esteem.  Especially if you happen to be a new nurse. Because we all know practice makes perfect, and if you haven't had all the practice, it's not going to be so perfect.

Finally, years into my time as a nurse, I can say I can get 99.1% of my IVs on the first time.  Nothing beats the feeling when a person tells you, "I'm really hard to get IVs on. They never get it the first try" and then you do and they give you that sideways look and exclaim, "wow, you're really good at that!"  Suppressing the sudden desire to do a little curtsy and say, "yes, yes I am!" you instead humbly reply, "I'm glad you think so."  But on the flip side, nothing is more humiliating than the time you don't get that first IV and the person smuggly states, "They've never had trouble starting IVs on me before..."  Then you have to suppress the burning desire to explain your good record and justify your skill as a nurse, though really, it won't do any good.

For those of you non medical readers out there, there may come a day when you will also have to suffer under the point of a metal needle, and in that day, keep in mind a few tidbits of advice. 

1. Don't hover.  If your family member or child is getting an IV, standing closely to the nurse and watching their every move is only decreasing the odds that they'll succeed under your crushing psychological pressure
2.  Phrases like, "You better get this the first time" and "You're going to get this the first time, right?"  actually decrease the odds that the nurse will succeed the first time
3.Please resist the urge to sigh or groan if the nurse has to try again. Trust me, they already feel bad and it won't help them be successful the second time round.
4. Aggression does not bring out the best in anybody, if anything it makes them sloppy because they get nervous
5. Resist the instinct that tells you to pull your arm away with that first shock of pain.  Trust me, it only makes things worse.
6.  Little kids are excused for screaming. Adults, come on. It hurts, but don't scream.  It makes you look a wee bit pathetic.  Take the manly route, and just pass out instead.

So we all hate needles, even yours truly.  But I'm glad they exist, because they do help save a heck of a lot of lives.  So try to remember that the next time a nurse is walking towards you with the gleaming mini javalin of steel, and try to look at them as friend, not foe.