Many of us are drawn to nursing because we like the idea of helping people - and I think most of us kind of assumed that we would be treated and responded to as helpers. But often times we are responded to as the perpetrators. The ones responsible for pain and suffering, instead of the ones working tirelessly to try and relieve it. That is one aspect of healthcare I was certainly not prepared for.
It is so hard not to take people's reactions at face value. And especially hard not to react emotionally to them ourselves. This is a lesson I am continually re exposed to at work, because patients and family members can often be short and rude and even threatening. The other day a co worker of mine asked me to start an IV on someone. After introducing myself and telling him what I was there for the man gave me a very serious stare, arched an eyebrow and stated "Better get that thing the first time or I'll be sticking needles in your arm." To which I replied (tartly) "You know it really doesn't help to threaten the nursing staff" and went about my task in indignant silence.
When I am inside these situations I get angry. I do not like being treated like the bad guy! I don't like people looking at me as though they need to protect themselves or their loved ones from me. I'm there to help them, darn it! However, when I am not in the situation, when I'm trying to place myself in someone else's skin, I start to understand. Slowly I begin to remember that it really doesn't have anything to do with me. Often when people are afraid and helpless (especially men) they try and regain that sense of control over their environment. They channel their fear into aggression because it feels more secure than the fear. The man who has watched his elderly wife undergo countless painful medical prodecures and feels unable to come to her rescue channels that insecurity into pressure on the medical staff. The parent feeling helpless to stop their child from experiencing pain or discomfort does the same.
I really hope that someday I'll be able to internalize this fact. To stop feeling defensive and angry because people aren't responding to me the way I feel they should. To see the fear behind the anger and respond with grace and compassion.
It is so hard not to take people's reactions at face value. And especially hard not to react emotionally to them ourselves. This is a lesson I am continually re exposed to at work, because patients and family members can often be short and rude and even threatening. The other day a co worker of mine asked me to start an IV on someone. After introducing myself and telling him what I was there for the man gave me a very serious stare, arched an eyebrow and stated "Better get that thing the first time or I'll be sticking needles in your arm." To which I replied (tartly) "You know it really doesn't help to threaten the nursing staff" and went about my task in indignant silence.
When I am inside these situations I get angry. I do not like being treated like the bad guy! I don't like people looking at me as though they need to protect themselves or their loved ones from me. I'm there to help them, darn it! However, when I am not in the situation, when I'm trying to place myself in someone else's skin, I start to understand. Slowly I begin to remember that it really doesn't have anything to do with me. Often when people are afraid and helpless (especially men) they try and regain that sense of control over their environment. They channel their fear into aggression because it feels more secure than the fear. The man who has watched his elderly wife undergo countless painful medical prodecures and feels unable to come to her rescue channels that insecurity into pressure on the medical staff. The parent feeling helpless to stop their child from experiencing pain or discomfort does the same.
I really hope that someday I'll be able to internalize this fact. To stop feeling defensive and angry because people aren't responding to me the way I feel they should. To see the fear behind the anger and respond with grace and compassion.
No comments:
Post a Comment